today

this must be the month of torture.
i have this sore throat,chest cold and what i can only imagine is an urinary tract infection.
hooray.

i just wanna go home. and fall into a coma and give myself some fucking rest.

i am rarely the person to get this sick. i mean i can't stand listening to those people. you know. the ones that are always sick and seem to constantly have some sort of annoying medical condition that would probably not exist if they would have been a little more proactive about their lifestyle? you know who i am talking about. the constant victim who can never seem to get above the weather.
i DO NOT want to be that person, but for the past fucking month i have been sick as hell and trying my ass off to keep it under wraps. i don't want to miss work i don't want to take medication and i don't want a fucking pity party.
but, god damn i am so sick of being sick.
*BLAH*

fuck*

nothing so eloquently displays an emotion as good as the word fuck
it's good for sex, it's good for getting mad, it's just plain good to say. and i say it a lot.

i fucking* burned my head. twice. yesterday and today. i got this new curling iron (it fucking* rocks) it's huge and it fancies up my hair into these gigantic fucking* curls. i look amazing.
too bad i am an awkward jack ass who some how can not manage to do my hair with out hurting myself. no hand eye coordination? who fucking* knows.
so here i am, awesome hair and a burned scalp.

that tops this last week of awesome things that i will never forget.

such as:

February 19, 2008 - Tuesday
ass faucet,
i have been pissing out my ass since saturday.
as amusing as this sounds it is in fact not fun at all. actually i am scared that i am going to manage to pop a roid with all my ass pissery.
i don't know what i have but i know it is awful and everyone in my house has it. miles shit up his back yesterday. i have been doing load after load of shitty diapers. soaking them in the terlet and then washing them on mind blisteringly hot water a few times to hopefuly knock out any bacteria...maybe i'll run them through the auto clave?

To top all of this off i also have been on my period for about 3 weeks. last thursday while sitting in class i felt my crotch burp. not a fart, not a queef. it wasn't even actually any air. it was a god damned crimson tide of pure fucking evil relieveing it's self from my nethers.
as it sit in my small class of 9 and our instructor ushers us into break time i politely request the chance to take an early lunch. why you ask? because i have bled out of my crotch onto my pants and am now swimming in my own effluence. totally destroyed my fucking pants and my cute pair of undies.
i wrap my hoodie around my waist and drive home feeling a slow leek like a faulty oil gasket in a honda civic or some kind of chevy malibu

i go home take off my bloody pants and draws and happen to notice the worlds largest bloog clot hangin out from my junk, it looks like a cow just gave birth.
the fucker is about the size of a pack of smokes and i actually had to grab it to get it out.
i am so fucking gross you can't even begin to comprehend it with 100% of you faculties.
after said giant clot has been exited from my holyest of holys i encounted a steady flow of bright red fluid. it is comming out so steadily that i can feel it. a lot.
i have nothing to quell this beastly flow. no feminine product on this earth could. i don't even think those fucking diapers that they give you in the hospital could do the trick.
that is uless you're a genious like me and decide to put on a pair of boxer briefs grab a size 5 diaper from your kids stash of disposeable diapers and wedge it securely yet gently between your legs. IT DOES THE FUCKING TRICK. i can still feel a constant movement of life force from my crotch, but i am less inclined to care due tot he fact that i am sporting something that can take a whole 7-11 bladder buster and still have room for some doo doo. i wore a fucking diaper.

thats not my lowest moment in life but it's up there with that time i took a crap at the craft store and there was no tp so i had to use a reciept that i found in my purse.

these past few weeks can go fuck themselfs straight to hell

now i have a fucking cold.

dear soulless machiene

today in blog land i decided to get a little voulentary time off of work so that i could go do something that did not consist of some jerk-off screaming in my ear.
i went and had indian food. sweet dreamy indian food. i'm in fat chick heaven.
or i would be if i hadn't been taking appetite suppressants and can't seem to manage to eat portions bigger than a slice of wonder bread.
god i fucking hate being fat.

so in the long run i guess it's worth it. the whole not eating like a fucking pig, getting controll of my diet and chloric intake. who fuckin knows maybe i'll take up jogging or some horse shit like that. probably not, but a girl can dream.

maybe if i drop enough lbs i can get some fuckin plastic surgery. (FUCK YEAH)

dear god forsaken blog,

oh how i have abandoned my blog. i have left it in the attic of the internet and allowed it to collect dusty cob webs.
i have forsaken the blogger for the greener grasses of live journal and myspace.
what a whore i really am.

fortunately for you blog, no one actually reads this. so you wouldn't know what to miss anyway.

*le sigh*

it's been a few months. some time to let my hormones simmer and cool off from having kids. i'm still fatter than i would like to be and have way more on my plate than any one person should. how i manage is far beyond what i can comprehend with 100% of my brain.

the kids are getting along nicely. they are huge and sometimes it is painfully bitter sweet to see them grow from babies to little kids. i miss teeny tiny babies that are completely content being strapped to your side in a carrier all day.

now they run around, play and little miss beats up on her brother. too stinkin cute.

the mr. is still working awful hours and it is really taking it out of him he rarely has more than about 30 min a day to spend with us before he goes off to load his 16 tons. he provides so much for our family at the expanse of never being able to see us. i am so grateful that i have such a wonderful husband who is willing to sacrifice so much so that we can have a nice place to live and nice things.
he's so dreamy*

ok. then.

i am done talking
buh bye