valerie

been knitting an ugly blanket. ugly blankets consist of a hodge-podge of different colors of yarn that would never normally go together, but once put together are sentimentally cute like a bull dog. I'm pleased with it so far.

much of the yarn i have was gifted to me from a family friend who just recently passed away.Betty. i think about her every time i sit down and knit. i never had a chance to really speak with her. she was a friend of Aaron's family and in the short time that he and i have been with each other i had only really met her once. at 90(something) years old she knitted a sweater,booties and a blanket for my daughter. i think about the hands that made them, all of the things she has touched. how she lived through world war two. she raised kids and had a family. she knitted blankets for the war vets at the hospitals and nursing homes. i think about all of this and wonder why she gifted these things to me.

i carry a lot of weight as a mother and a wife.my cup and clock are always full and yet i feel like i could do so much more. i could give more and make an impact.like she did.

i think about a lot of things when i sit down and knit. social situations politics. i think about how the world went and got it's self in a big god damned hurry. i wonder why the picture on the wall isn't so evident for everyone to see. socially we are digging ourselves into a hole. we are separating everyone into boxes of minorities and then telling them that they are like everyone else, but not.

i think about how the media represents blacks,mexicans asians and the like in such a negative light and then tells the white community not to discriminate. they show hoards of immigrants trying to find a better life and tell us that we're better off just kicking them out. then they have the gall to tell us we have no right to feel anything negative about any sort of minority after blasting us with countless hours of ignorant and racist commentaries about gang violence and the real world of "colored" people. they have so tightly packed these poor people into a niche that they can't get out of it and have to propagate what they have been told that they are. so who's really to blame?

who's really responsible for these ill groomed social graces? no one makes the decision anymore. they just turn on the tv and wait to be told how to think.