Sunday, June 24, 2007

I don't know shit about shit

i rarely ever spell check either. i have a few people that constantly call me on this and i would just like it jotted down that i don't give a fuck. cause if it did i probably would have fixed it by now.


in other news...

apparently (this is not new news to me) my daughter hates sleep because she is a "high needs baby"
are you kidding me? aren't all babies technically high needs? i mean seriously. babies are needy that's why they have parents. i mean it's not as if i just crapped my kids out and the next day they were off to their full time job at the office.

i think that is what wrong with parents these days. they just assume their kids are this fully functioning machine that runs it's self. how could you expect a brand new person to just know how to sleep, eat and not shit them self?
everything a child knows they learn from the world around them. they learn to be impatient from their family, they learn to be abusive from their family they also learn to love and be loved from their family. this is why it is so important to be attentive to your kids needs.

you can imagine my surprise when i was advised that i had a "high needs" baby.
i said to myself "self, this is some ole bull shit. there already trying to put some sort of mental diagnosis on my kid and she's not even a year old." how about this... i am helping mold an already formed personality. she has her own schedule and a way that she does things. i mean i wouldn't expect my neighbor to keep the same eating, shitting and sleeping schedule as me. so why would i expect my kids to?
don't put so much thought into it. seriously. enjoy what you have when you have it. kids are awesome and a challenge but no one forced you to have them.

....


i have been doing a lot of thinking lately. mostly because we're so painfully broke right now that i have nothing to do but think. well that and crochet...which brings more thinking. thinking isn't bad it just brings up more shit that i have to deal with.

like in-laws, kids, playing, pets, cleaning, food making, bed making, car washing, self grooming, diaper changing, sleeping and getting everything done as well as working a full time job in what seems like an ever closing gap of a day.. i realise more and more as i blossom as a person that there is never enough time in a day. you just have to pick and choose the things that you really want to spend time doing and accept the rest as shit that will have to wait. if you're a control freak like me this shit is hard to accept.

i always feel like i have to cram so much shit junk and crap into one day and get it all done or i feel like an unproductive piece of shit.

this will change i am sure, but right now that is my struggle.
blah.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

i got fucked by dick

so my husband aaron and i went to look at cars on sunday(06-10-07). we went to dick hannah to see if they had any dodge avengers. didn't really see any so the sales guy showed us our other choice which was a PT cruiser.

it's a 06 with 999 miles and still under factory warranty. sticker price was something close to $17,000.00. so that car guy takes into the show room does some finagling (dictionary.com = fi·na·gle;to practice deception or fraud; scheme.) with some "lenders" and got us financed for the car. first they were asking 4,000 down with 260 payments a month. we told him 2,500 down 250 a month. then he said ok, 2,500 down but 350 a month 15.5% interest. ok that sounds reasonable.

so we get it down on paper. the guy in the "financing" department has us sign a stack of papers and gives us options for gap insurance and extended warranty. sweet ass. our payments go up to about 400 a month, but with an extended warranty(5 years something thousand miles) and gap insurance i can justify paying about 50 bucks more a month. the car is grinding gears from 4th to 3rd or the other way around. i don't know. i didn't drive it.

so they agree to get the tranny fixed then hand the car over to us.it's still under warranty so it is free to get it fixed.
we pick the car up on tuesday.

drives like a well oiled vibrator. we think we're said and done good to go ready to be on our way to being the proud owners of a fancy new-ish pt cruiser.

wednesday i get a call from our friendly friends at dick hannah saying that something came up with financing and they need us to come back and sign some papers. just a formality i am assured. apparently the bank will only finance us for the price of the car. no extras like gap insurance or an extended warranty. ok,i can understand that. it's a pain in the ass, but i can understand it. yes, we did sign a CONTRACT with then for those things at that rate and were assured everything was fine.
(apparently they can change their contract with us any time, but it is 100% legally binding for us.)

well, aaron has to work graveyard and i am the only one who is able to come in and sign the papers.i go into the showroom am escorted into the "financial advisers" office and she sits me down and explains to me that the bank will only cover the cost of the car no extras. she wants me to sign immediately for this car.

she re-advises me that Washington has no "cooling off" period where you can renig on a contract. thats bull shit. it's a federal law that we(anyone) have the right to rescind a contract with in 72 hours of signing it. that it, unless you sign away that right to rescind by initialing a part of a contract that states you understand that washington has no "cooling off" period.

so while i have this rhino of a woman yakking in my ear i am relaying her information to aaron who agrees with me, that it's cool. we're essentially paying 50.00 less a month for the same car with the same interest. right? so aaron says this is kinda some bull shit that we have to re-sign this shit,but it's cool he just wants it in writing that the bank is approved and we're not going to have to come back to this polished hell hole until some money exchanges hands.

aaron is at work so i tell her that i will have to sign these papers then take them home to my husband who will also sign them. she gets approval from her manager for me to bring the papers home and have him sign them and bring them back to her.

she goes over the papers with me. re-noting the price of the car. the interest rate(15.5%) "which is great!" she says cause they got me at 15.5% where the bank wanted me at 16.9%. although she dwarfs me by about 7 inches in height and a good solid 80lbs i can tell that i make her nervous. i better make you nervous bitch. you're fucking with my money therefor in the long run fucking with my family.

i tell her i'm going to need this approval in writing. she seems more than happy to give me this piece of paper that says all the limits of our lenders lending and theres a little check by the word approved. she says "i'm not sure if i am supposed to make a copy of this for you so don't bring it back with you tomorrow" i have to come back to this place again to bring more papers and more information and more work and gas on my part to get you what you want from me. i understand. i am a very fucking understanding person. i am willing to do some work to get my shit. just don't jerk me around. i work in sales too. i know you don't get everything for nothing, but seriously.

so all is said and done we shake hands at each other and i go home. another night spent after work away from my kids. i got to see them for maybe 30 min then it was their bed time.

well i am more than just a little perturbed at how the numbers keep changing on us and why is it that a contract that i had to sign again on Wednesday 06-13-07 is dated 06-10-07?
sounds a little shady to me. maybe a type-o? lets hope.

next day(06-14-07)

i go to work come home talk with aaron about the papers and all the logistics of what we're signing. he understands. the bank will only finance the cost of the car no extras. price is still the same, interest rate is still the same, the car is still cool. aaron goes to work

i do not pass go, i do not pick up my babies from daycare and take them to the park and play, i go to dick hannah and bring in my paper work AGAIN. so it sit down with our friendly neighborhood Scheiße Slinger and we get down to explaining the papers again. i sign acknowledgement that we are not going to finance gap insurance or extended warranties with our loan. the monthly payment is going to go down about 50.00....wait....no...our greasy little friend has noticed a discrepancy on our papers. oopies! apparently our payment has magicked it's self from being about 346 and some change to being 361 and some change and un oh! out interest rate went up.

oh no, this is all wrong he says. she must not have told me last night that the numbers changed. she didn't tell me last night. OH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA, how funny. last night when i was here. last night when i already went out of my way to come down here away from my kids and family. last night where she agreed with me that i was going to have a lower rate and keep the same interest. my interest rate sucks, why make it any worse?
last night when she told me they had it in writing that i was approved for this amount with this interest and this is all said and done.
this is starting to feel like a game of good cop bad cop.

our friendly loan friend excuses himself from my presence and leaves the room to go confer with an associate. he comes back with this other nervous guy in tow who says that he is the sales manager and he is sooooooo sorry for all of the misconceptions. he waves a couple of Starbucks gift cards in my face as a consolation for raising my interest rate my monthly rate and of course dropping my gap insurance and my extended warranty. hey that really makes up the diff there you fat fuck. sure makes up for paying 21,717 for a car with an asking price of 15,555...oh wait that changed too 14,444.i am quite sure it will change again.
so he prints a NEW contract up. with our NEW information and numbers on it. i look and the dates strangely enough reads 06-10-07, but today is 06-14-07. hrm...

so i tell him. i am going to come back in tomorrow with my husband and we're going to clear this up. i go home. i go to the park with my babies and i try to make the most of another evening that was wasted at the dick hannah dealership.

i won't have to deal with them again till tomorrow...or would i?

i get a call. it's Ezra. our "financier" he just wants me to know for legal reasons that i have 4 days to finalize everything and i still have the right to bring the car back if i can't find something that works, but he knows i don't want to do that. so he'll be more than happy to finalize everything right over the phone for me right now without any further delay.are you fucking with me? do you think that you're going to shawshank your way up my balloon knot because my husband isn't here to kick your dick in the dirt? do you have any idea that you're fucking with the actual mean one? i mean i am understanding to a point, but don't fuck with me.

i tell him that i am not about to make any snap decisions with out my husband. i tell him i will see him tomorrow and we are not moving forward with a motherfucking thing till i get in the sack with my husband.

go fuck yourself straight to hell.

i tell Aaron the strange turn of events and he calls the gent to give him what for.
once again i will be spending another night this week at dick Hannah.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Three easy steps

I got an IUD.
for those of you who don't know what that is, it is a small little doo-hickey that the put into your uterus with a slow release of hormones or a copper coil that keeps you from making babies.
it hurts like a mother fucker, but totally worth it for 5-13 years of baby free love makin( or just plain ole every day fuckin, which ever you prefer)

First off. my doctor was a prick. a class "A" dick head. maybe i should rewind a little bit.

i am a baby factory and make them one right after the other (i have two) while i was in the last stages of my pregnancy my doctor,husband and i decided that it was probably a good idea to get some form of B-C that was a little more substantial than just the mini pill. so i opted for an IUD.
not a big deal 8 weeks after my delivery i am slated to get an IUD. i have a consultation visit with my obgyn for the device we talk about the goods and bads of it and decide we would like to move forward in getting this implanted. wrong.
the insurance says that they won't cover it and it'll cost me $500.00 dollars. like i have that kind of money flying out my ass.

fast forward to a few months later. i check with my insurance again and low i am covered for it $50.00 co-pay. sweet ass.
so i have to schedule another consult for my IUD. i see a doctor who is really cool. she asks a few questions.
no, i have never had an abnormal pap.
no, i have never had an STD
yes, i am married

she says great, sounds like this will be perfect with you we just have to clear it with your insurance and order it we will be calling you in about a week.
awesome.

a week or so later i get a call from that lady that works scheduling for the Dr's office. i schedule an appointment. not with my regular Dr, but some random doctor who had better scheduling that was like a few days away instead of a few weeks out. no big deal i don't mind having some random doctor take a look at my goodies.
I'm not a picky person which makes for great scheduling when it comes to vagina doctors.
my mistake.
i know i don't exactly look like the shining image of motherly opulence, but seriously.

so i get to my appointment. after waiting about an hour in the room the doctor finally comes in. he asks me if i had a pap recently. yes.
was it abnormal?no.
have you ever had an STD? no.
I.V. drug user? no.(what the fuck?)

then he begins to tell me that he's apprehensive about going forward with the procedure because he thinks it has been too long since i have had a pap and a bunch of other bull shit.
so i advise him that this form of birth controlis something that my doctor and i had agreed was the best bet for me (outside of tieing the ole tubes) as a form of preventing any further unplanned pregnancies.

so he asks me if i have ever had gonorrhea or chlamydia. nope. syphilis? NO.
i tell him i was tested for all of these things when i was pregnant. I'm starting to wonder what the fuck this asshole is trying to get at . told him i have had a total of two consults for this and both doctors thought it was a good idea.
he finally tells me (after almost making me cry) that he's going to do it, but he wants to first test me for chlamydia,gonorrhea and syphilis any way and if i come back positive then I'm going to have to come back for treatment and they'll have to take the device out.
hey, way to go asshole. good job at making yourself look like a real prick.
i tell him that i am married and have been with the same person for years. it's like i am talking to a wall.

so, i am on my back getting swapped and scraped for diseases i KNOW i don't have. this is uncomfortable in it's own right even if i was just there for a routine check up. it would still be uncomfortable. then on top of it all i got to sit through this guy opening up my cervix and inserting a plastic device into my uterus. ouch, by the way. it hurts just about as bad as labor pains and for a few days. it was like a bad cash for sex operation. i felt like that hooker from American psycho. i get all opened up and treated like shit then he has the balls to say, i left a pad on the chair for you so you don't bleed on your clothes.
thanks Patrick Bateman.

what a DICK! DICK! DICK!!!!

you're an asshole.

well to add insult to injury i haven't been able to take a shit since.
i don't know if the cramping fucked with my intestines or what, but i have been taking laxatives for days and still nothing.

what the fuck